It shouldn’t be goodbye. If life were fair, it would be hello. For a while.
– For a long while, if I were a betting man.
Expect, really? If life were fair? I wouldn’t have ever met him. I’d be:
This I know – I wasn’t expecting to connect. It’s a goddman hotel bar, after all.
I wasn’t expecting to laugh like that.
I wasn’t expecting the perfect kiss.
I wasn’t expecting to feel.
His life has been complex. A box of chocolates, a brilliant path mixed with dark and haunted depths, leading him forward, towards a kind and mindful awareness. He is evolved; he is beautiful.
Taking my life-journey’s dips and divots in stride; he fucking got me. He intuitively knew – it’s all so fucking hilarious. He made me laugh. He let me breath. He helped me sing.
He made me want to love, again.
It took my breath away when he told me. It panged an old ache, an ache unhealed from the dark years – rubbing so perfectly against the deception I still can’t resolve.
I just met him the day before yet I wanted to cry.
Except instead? He made me laugh.
Of fucking course he did.
I wish he came with a sign – something to alert me that it would be over before it began. A sign indicating that the cab is off duty, that there is another traveler on board.
I don’t regret meeting him.
Holding his hand, kissing his perfect mouth, taking him inside me….
But goddamn it; He should have come with a sign.