Tinder Thomas

He immediately fit most of my requirements. He made me laugh. He was fun. He put me at ease and our first phone call and our first date were delightful.

I promised myself I wasn’t going to sleep with him on the first date and technically, I didn’t. I didn’t sleep at all. He and I stayed up until 7 AM talking and other things because…

shots of fireball are the way to my heart, and a way down my pants. For now.

For the first date (real date) in about 15 years, it went swimmingly. There was chemistry. I had fun. I wasn’t blown away by his brilliant, well, anything – he’s pretty average all around – but maybe that’s why I felt so comfortable. Assured. Safe. Mostly feeling-less…

the way I need it to be. For now.

The second date was even more entertaining than the first. We went to a St. Patty’s Day Parade and met an eclectic group of people. I like a guy who can hold his own socially. I like a guy who makes ME feel slightly introverted…

who isn’t overly complicated. For now.

We kept finding older couples who told us they wanted to come to our wedding. That we were the most adorable couple; that we belong together; that he’s a good guy. It freaked me out and intrigued me. It made me need to drink, a lot. More than I should have so the next few hours are a blur. It happens sometimes and …

I’m ok with it. For now.

The sex that night wasn’t great. I could blame it on tons of alcohol but mostly, I just don’t think I felt anything. Anywhere. He attempted to call me his girlfriend earlier and I’m pretty sure it broke my vagina. The intrigue was gone. Two days later, it was over because…

 ol’ Tinder Thomas had become Mr. Serious. Mr. Un-Tinder. Mr. Not For Now!


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